Daily Clean Jokes #33

Please Shut Up

One fine morning whilst Lynn & Andrew were driving to Finsbury, a police officer pulls over their speeding car.

The officer says, "I clocked you at 160 km/hr, Sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 120, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting, Lynn says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, Andrew looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"

Lynn smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, Andrew glowers at Lynn and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic US$ 50 fine."

Andrew says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

Lynn says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

The officer looks over to Lynn and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

"Only when he's been drinking."