Daily Clean Jokes #5

I'm A Photographer

A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane.

"It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor.

As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled,

"Let's go! Let's go!"

The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air.

"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes."

"Why?" asked the pilot.

"Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation.

After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you're not the instructor?"

Daily Clean Jokes #4

Didn’t Do

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother,

"Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."

The mother exclaimed,

"But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this.. By the way, what was it that you didn't do?"

The little girl replied, "My homework."

Daily Clean Jokes #3

Acetylsalicylic Acid

A chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist,

"Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?"

"You mean aspirin?" asked the pharmacist.

"That's it, I can never remember that word."

Daily Clean Jokes #2

1,000 Valentines cards signed, 'Guess who?

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing 'Love' stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.

The man says 'I'm sending out 1,000 Valentines cards signed, 'Guess who?''

'But why?' asks the man.

'I'm a divorce lawyer,' the man replies.

Daily Clean Jokes #1

Teacher, Kindergarten Student and The Boots

Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on?
He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said,
"Teacher, they're on the wrong feet."

She looked, and sure enough, they were.

It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on - this time on the right feet.

He then announced, "These aren't my boots."

She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to.

Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off.
He then said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear them."

She didn't know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace to wrestle the boots on his feet again.

She said, "Now, where are your mittens?"

He said,” I stuffed them in my boots..."

Comment: Well, at last we all know what the matter is…

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